January 2010
45 posts
14553.) ever since i tried anal sex (and hated it)...
(via blogsecret)
MASTER DONG SAYS:
Firstly, I am always amazed when people do not enjoy anal sex, since it is almost always what I am thinking about doing when I am doing other things. It is more fun than amusement parks and heroin combined. As a child I thought that my hershey-hole was mainly for pooping, but when I discovered buttsecks, I realized that pooping was a mere secondary function...
Is this an unreleased Lady GaGa Demo?! ...
PG be dreamin' the impossible dream
Since moving to LA I’ve had a crazy, impossible sexual fantasy. A fantasy that may never be able to be fulfilled while living in this city… I’m looking for a semi-attractive and non-crazy straight man to have sexual intercourse with. It’s a tall order, and I know you are thinking, PG a man like that does not exist in Los Angeles! But a girl can dream can’t she?
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14455.) I've been dating this really great woman...
(via blogsecret)
MASTER DONG SAYS:
Alright, I have to ask the obvious question: how can you have been dating this woman for over a year without having sex? Hell, she might even be relieved to hear the truth about your trouser space. After more than twelve months of cuddling and talking about her feelings, she most likely thinks you are a total homo. Either that or she is some kind of...
jesus--walks asked: fap fap fap fap fap fap <3
14392.) I bet my grandma's vag is pretty stretched...
(via blogsecret)
MASTER DONG SAYS:
Oh, that’s a pretty safe bet. While a woman-hole can certainly regain most of its compression after spewing out one or two larvae from its mucousy depths (get on those Kegels, ladies!), there is no way that such a tight space could take a watermelon-sized stretching like that a dozen times without serious and permanent consequences. If your grandma went...
Watchaceofcups:
monsieurmoon:
Clitter! Glitter for your vagina.
“Does the site of your vagina throw others into violent rage?”
When it comes to most of the gays, I would bet that even the amazement of CLITTER would change the answer to this question!
Messing with Texas
Miss Lady Flex is piloting a trash bag of used prophos to San Analtonio and Asstown. (That’s San Antonio and Austin to those of you who don’t speak flexhole.) Hit me us up via @lesexoflex if you know of any butt burger joints that should not be missed!
xexxo-deactivated20120217 asked: I love the title of your blog, it rolls off the tongue .
14135.) im straight but i saw my best mate naked...
(via blogsecret)
MASTER DONG SAYS:
Not at all! It just means that you are “Str8.” If you were gay, you would be a lispy interior decorator with an anus as loose as a retarded man’s shoelaces. You would be familiar with 60’s musical theater and would know the name of Cher’s plastic surgeon. You would know how to do makeup for all of your girlfriends and would have...
Help Flexxxholes Sarah and Knife Get to Hawaii! →
Hello tumblr. Two of the parts we like to bump against need your help, Marriott will melt our friends Sarah and Knife’s frozen juices in Hawaii if they win this here contest. As fans of these kids AND of Marriott, we are doing our darndest to ship them on out there.
Sarah (aka Cinnamon Stixx) is an avid fan who has done amazing makeup for Le Sex, and you can spy her in our Cheshire Bridge...
WatchLe Sexoflex recorded two new songs this weekend!!! Expect one soon. Expect this one…later.
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Le Sexoflex Tumblr Queefs (aka Formspring)
Thanks to all the whores who wrote us with questions. Here’s some motha-fuckin’ answers to please you.
Q: If the members of Le Sexoflex were to be in an orgy together, what would happen? who would do what? and how many orgasms would it take to get to the center of that sexcapade?
If?
Pee-pees touch poo-poos. Wee-wees hump foo-foos. And the walls drip with our sex juice. Princess...
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FORMSPRING?
I am not too terrible certain I am doing this properly, but what the hell, let’s try anyway! Ask Le Sexoflex questions and maybe we’ll answer! Or give us comments! Or suggestions! Or say nasty things to us! Tell us what you want to do to us! Send us raunchy photos! mmmmmm, get juicy!
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