Happy Vagintine’s Day! The LE SEXOFLEX edition of the Unofficial Distorted View Bar Guide has hit the e-presses like butts on copy machines! Thank you Halleys Comet and Matthew Wunderlich for reaching around to touch us, and use the contents of what you found to make some delicious (wait, we haven’t tried them yet) recipes.
Look through the table of contents and you’ll see the following titles that may ring a bell…
Burger in Your Butt (based off of our chart topper* Poop On Face)
Dragon*Con-coction (the official Le Sexoflex cocktail for conventions)
Jizz Baguette (the name for our alter-alter-egos and our backup squad)
Color us SEXXXCITED!!! Molly Trull’s POOP ON FACE (Acoustic, Melancholy cover) made a splash in the toilet waters of YouTube yesterday. We can’t believe she dropped this beautiful kid off at the pool in time for us to swim around and enjoy the last vestiges of summer with her! Haunting, lovely, and guaranteed to play on repeat. We’re hungry for more, Molly!!!
Thank you for awarding us this honor of all honors. Your knowledge of buttburger geometry knows no bounds. You will be spared in the uprising of the sexmachines. Or not. Your choice really. We love you either way. xolesexoflexox
DISGUSTING LYRIC OF THE DAY 48: POOP ON FACE by LE SEXOFLEX
“You’ve got poop on your face and a burger in your butt.” Le Sexoflex, Poop On Face
What can I possibly say about this song? These people are eating backwards, but I think that is how they like it.
If I had a burger in my ass, I hope it is a Krystal burger. Small, compact, soft and greasy, with no red condiments, Krystal is the perfect ass burger. Plus, they tend to wind up sliding out twenty minutes after you eat one anyways. The burger I would least like in my ass is a Baconator from Wendy’s. All that crumbly, jagged bacon in my soft parts would make poop on my face the least of my problems.